Computer Time

When you get a library card, you get the privilege of using a computer at the library.  Whether you choose a laptop or a desktop, your library card entitles you to two hours per day.  If you have several children, you can ultimately sit on the computer all day long, beause you (as the adult/gaurdian of the children) can just use their cards.  Tee hee.

Now, you, as a library patron, and (therefore) library card holder, should be completely aware of this fact for two VERY good reasons: (1)  They should have told you this when you got your card or at least given you a paper that described this fact on it; and (2) You have been using the library computers FOREVER and should have figured it out.  The key word above is _________.

Anyway, it turns out that many a person do not know this.  And they ask.  Repeatedly.  About this.

So I’ve come up with a few ways to respond to this question, just to keep myself amused with myself and not disamused with the patron who is asking, because, after all, although they _________ know, they don’t know (apparently).  So here’s my top 7 responses (because I couldn’t think of any more at the moment) to the question (or their derivatives) of “How much time do I get on the computer?”:

1.    You get two hours per day per library card.  (You look like you may not have genuinely known this, so I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt.  Just this once.)

2.   You get 120 minutes, representing two hours per day per library card.  (I’m gonna break it down for you because I feel like being funny to myself.)

3.  You get 2 hours per day.  But you have two kids, so you could use their time too and get six hours per day.  (I see that your kids are with you and you’re asking me about total hours per day for you, and this is true, and gives those kids a reality check of who is boss, I think.  and that person would be me with the power to give you six hours of computer time . . . HAHAHAHAHAHA!)

4.  You get 2 hours per day, just like yesterday.  (If you can’t remember yesterday, please seek counseling.) 

5.  You get 2 hours per day, but not together necessarily, because we get busy and other people probably have a reservation at this point.  (If you wait until the last three minutes of your session to request extra time because your doing a test or application or whatnot from me, and it doesn’t let me extend it because someone else has a reservation, this is your problem, and not mine.)

6.  You get 2 hours per day.  If you already used your time at another library, you already used your time.  it is 2 hours per day per card, not per library.  (This is a library, not a Starbucks.)

7.  You get 120 minutes per day.  (You do the math because I don’t feel like it.)
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