The Poopy Chair

Once upon a time, there lived a young person.  OK, so the person wasn’t so young.  OK, FINE!  The person was potty trained for a long time.  The person was a teenager type person.  FINE.

Ahem.  Once upon a time there lived a teenaged person.  This person liked to play games on the computer at the library.  This person liked to play these games while sitting at children’s computer number 7.  This was this person’s computer, and this person only liked to play games on this computer.

One day, the this person came to the library and was engaged in a rather long session of game play.  This person accepted extra time on computer number 7.  This person sat there for two whole hours straight.  And when this person got up, this person realized this person had pooped this person’s pants.

Suddenly, this person realized this person had been sitting in this person’s poopy pants for the whole two hours!  OK, this person didn’t realize this.  OK, FINE, this person didn’t even realize that this person had poopy pants once this person got up.  Who’s telling this story anyway, sheesh!

Ahem.  The person with the poopy pants got up from computer number 7 and left.  But the poopy smell stayed.  It stayed and it lingered for a long time.  A librarian came and wiped the chair down.  But the poopy smell stayed.

The poopy smell lingered til the following day when another young person came and complained that they couldn’t take their reservation on computer number 7 because of the poopy chair smell.  OK, the young person took the reservation but moved the poopy chair away and sat on a bench.  OK, FINE!  The young person took the reservation, moved the poopy chair to the other side of the children’s department, reported the smell, and then sat on a bench to use the computer.

Ahem.  When the young person complained, another librarian came with gloves on and took the poopy chair to the back office.  Then, the librarian scrubbed the chair down with soap and water.  The poopy smell remained.  Then, the librarian scrubbed the chair down with alcohol.  The poopy smell remained.  Then, the librarian turned the chair over.

Then the librarian gave up.  The librarian decided to air out the chair and took it outside for a bit.  OK, fine, the librarian took it outside and left it in the rain.  OK, FINE!  the librarian took it outside and left it in the rain overnight.

Ahem.  But the poopy smell remained.  It lingered and festered and neither air nor rain nor the library’s excuse for Lysol would get rid of the poopy smell.

But then, the janitor came and saw the poopy chair.  The janitor promised to take care of it.  And the janitor did. 

And all was right with the world again.

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3 Responses to The Poopy Chair

  1. Gooberdoodles says:

    My apologies for the poopy chair. The thing is that my character in world of war craft had to poop and you know when you dream that you have to pee and then you actually pee in real life cause you pee’ed in your dream? Yea ok whatever so I they pooped and I had to too. I’ll wear a depend next time

  2. Pingback: Where is that stench coming from? | Dewey It To Me One More Time

  3. Patron says:

    Set it on fire!

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